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Goals? It’s Easy If You Do It Smart

I should have started discussed how to make goals before for the year or in general before taking about habits. That’s okay. We live and we learn from our mistakes. 

What are goals?

Goals are defined as an idea of the future or desired result of a person. For groups, goals are defined as am envision, plan and commit to achieve. I will be taking about goals for individual people. 


Setting  goals are important  for many different reasons:

      1. Keeps you focused and provides direction
      2. Gives you a sense of self-mastery or satisfaction
      3. Helps maintain motivation
      4. Helps you prioritize change
      5. Can set off new behaviors

Types of Goals

The types of goals will be broken into two groups :

    1. Time-Based
      • Short-term goals: goals you want to accomplish immediate or the near future. That could a couple weeks, a month, six months or even a year. For example, a weekly goal of mine is to cook one meal. 
      • Long-term goals: Requires more planning, effort, and time to achieve than a short-term goal. For example, one of my long term-goals is to obtain my doctorate in Clinical child/family psychology. 
      • Lifetime goals: Any idea, dream, vision or purpose you have for yourself to achieve in your lifetime. For example, I want to travel to see some of the wonders of the world such as the pyramids, Great Wall of China, Taj Mahal, Petra, etc.
    2. Life-Based: These can also be considered as stepping stones.
      • Career goals: professional ideas or visions that you want to achieve in your chosen career. For example, you want to get a promotion to a higher job or start your own business. 
      • Personal/Personal development goals: Ways to improve yourself and become the best person you can be. A couple of personal goals are to write a book and to read more books. 
      • Financial goals: Plan to help you manage your finances and control how you spend. You could create a monthly spending plan, save for retirement, pay off loans, etc. 
      • Spiritual goals: An intention to aim  on how to become closer to God. My goal: I want to work on daily devotionals, prayer, reading the Word. 
      • Health goals: Maintaining health and being fit (physically and mentally) Examples of adding more fruits and  vegetables to lunch and dinner. Drink more water a day. Exercise three times a week. 
      • Relationship goals: A few examples could be spending more time with family, self-care, get married, have children and etc. 

A lot of the types of  goals can overlap with each other. 

What Can You Do to Maintain Goals?

    1. You can achieve your goals using the acronym SMART. SMART stand for specific, measureable, attainable, relevant, and time-based. 

World Cup2018 Homer Simpson GIF - World Cup2018 Homer Simpson World Cup - Descubre & Comparte GIFs

S: Specific. Be clear on the goal when you write it. Here are some questions you can ask yourself?

    1. What do I want to accomplish?
    2. Why is this goal important?
    3. Who is involved?
    4. What resources or lack of resources are involved?

M: Measureable. Tracking your progress and knowing what you accomplished.

    1. How much?
    2. How many?

A: Attainable. Making your goal realistic and achievable. Something that is not over the top but still challenging. You have what you need to reach the goal.

R: Relevant. To make sure that the goal matters to you, worth the time, your effort, and aligns with other goals you have. 

T: Time-based. What is your ideal date for you to accomplish the goal. What is the deadline you want to focus toward?

Encouragement

Remember that your goals aren’t going to perfect and you can always mend your goals as you along. Just go with the process, take your time, and you will be able to accomplish what you set out to do. Hopefully, I helped you set some goals and some insight on how to make goals.

References

7 Types of Goals: The Ultimate Guide to Goal Categories. Develop Good Habits. (2020, October 28). https://www.developgoodhabits.com/types-of-goals/.

Healthie. (2020, February 13). 9 Benefits to Goal Setting for Client Success: Healthie Blog. Health Resources and Tips for Wellness Professionals | Healthie Blog. https://blog.gethealthie.com/2019/07/11/9-benefits-to-goal-setting-for-client-success/.

Ho, L. (2020, November 26). 9 Types of Goals to Get Your Life Moving in the Right Direction. Lifehack. https://www.lifehack.org/864425/types-of-goals.

Ho, L. (2021, January 17). What are Goals? Achieve More By Changing Your Perspectives. Lifehack. https://www.lifehack.org/863723/what-are-goals.

Mind Tools Content Team . SMART Goals: – How to Make Your Goals Achievable. Time Management Training From MindTools.com. https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/smart-goals.htm.

Personal Success. (2019, December 3). Importance of Goal Setting: 6 Reasons to Take Setting Goals Seriously. Brian Tracy’s Self Improvement & Professional Development Blog. https://www.briantracy.com/blog/personal-success/importance-of-goal-setting/.

Pullein, C. (2020, November 27). What Are SMART Goals (and How to Use Them to Be Successful). Lifehack. https://www.lifehack.org/759949/how-to-use-smart-goal.

Riopel, L. (2020, November 12). The Importance, Benefits, and Value of Goal Setting. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/benefits-goal-setting/#:~:text=Setting%20goals%20helps%20trigger%20new,you%20don’t%20properly%20manage.

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  • Teleaha Dozier-Grady
  • Lifestyle
  • Jan, 17, 2021

Self-Care: Silent Car Rides

I enjoy car rides.

Especially at night. Seeing the midnight sky with the white stars is nice.

It’s not actually midnight. It’s around 8 pm.

Listening to instrumental, calming music as I reflect on the day.

The good, bad and neutral.

Think about how I could have said things differently.

Taking car rides also help me cool off.

Especially if I am upset.

I release my steam by driving around town. Somewhere new and safe.

Just using my GPS to prevent getting lost and going with the flow.

I might park my car at a local park to write out my feelings.

Once I write everything down. I start the car back up and head home.

Silent cars are nice. 

It helps me be present.

Encouragement

If you plan to plan to take a car ride. Be care on where you go. Be aware of your surroundings. If you are upset with your family or friend about what they said or the situation that occured. Leave a letter stating what you plan to do. I know not everyone can take car rides depending on if you have transportation, law enforcement, etc. Ride in safe environment. Bring someone to protect your such as mace. 

It's also my birthday!

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What You Want to Know About Habits

On the New Year’s Day, I talked about  my goals for this year. I mentioned  that I wanted to change my goals into habits.

What's A Habit?

Habit is a pattern of behavior that is repeated until it becomes automatic.

For example:

Driving home. Once you learn the route home. You don’t have to think about what street to turn on to or using a GPS to find your way home. 

Brushing your teeth. For me, I wet my toothbrush before putting on toothpaste. Then when I put the toothpaste on I know to start brushing my teeth.

How are Habits Formed?

Last year I read a book called The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. Duhigg explained that habits are formed by a three-step loop called the habit loop.

Duhigg Habit Loop from his book.

First is the cue: A cue is something that prompts your brain to know what a habit to use automatically.

For example: the alarm clock goes off

Next is the routine: The reaction itself. It could mental, physical, or emotional. 

For example: Getting coffee

Finally, the reward. This is to make sure that the loop will be remembered for the future.

Example: You feel energized

How Do Create A Habit?

In order for something to become a habit, it takes at least 21 days. Some say in a month.  Start off small and simple. Focus on one thing at a time.

Example: you want to make it a habit to get breakfast in the morning. 

Write what you need for breakfast the day before if you are planning to cook. Make an list of ingredients. If you need to plan, then do so. Next, make reminders of yourself. If you plan to being consistent, try to eat for breakfast around the same time each day. 

Plan for obstacles. Sticking with the breakfast example. Have breakfast bars if case you aren’t able to cook or if you are running late for work. 

What makes the habit loop work, Duhigg said to create a craving.  The cue must prompt a routine, that causes a craving for the reward to come. 

      • Cue: Alarm goes off
      • Routine: Make breakfast
      • Reward:  Feel energized, replenished, and alert.

Encouragement

Remember you are not perfect.

Reward yourself for the small steps taken. It could going to the movies or anything you happy or relaxed.

Have fun. If you are making breakfast, play music.

It’s not going to happen overnight. Be patient, enjoy the process and you will learn something new about yourself. 

References

Dictionary.com. Habit. Dictionary.com. https://www.dictionary.com/browse/habit.

Duhigg, C. (2017, November 20). How Habits Work. Charles Duhigg. https://charlesduhigg.com/how-habits-work/.

Fresh Air. (2012, March 5). Habits: How They Form And How To Break Them. NPR. https://www.npr.org/2012/03/05/147192599/habits-how-they-form-and-how-to-break-them.

Scott, S. J. (2020, October 30). How to Form a New Habit (in 8 Easy Steps). Develop Good Habits. https://www.developgoodhabits.com/how-to-form-a-habit-in-8-easy-steps/.

Young, S. H. (2018, January 30). 18 Tricks to Make New Habits Stick. Lifehack. https://www.lifehack.org/articles/featured/18-tricks-to-make-new-habits-stick.html.

 
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  • Teleaha Dozier-Grady
  • Lifestyle
  • Jan, 03, 2021

New Year, New Goals

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I am blessed to know that we made it through 2020! And, now let’s take a big sigh of relief.

I am happy to know I made it through the year COVID-free. I made out with my health and in my right mind. Jesus gave life to my body to see a new year, meaning I still have purpose here on earth.

As you may know, many people made new year’s resolutions. And I know it can be hard to maintain those goals I set for ourselves. Sometimes our resolutions can be too-complex, not realistic, loss of motivation, poor planning, no support, etc.

I am one of many people who make goals and do not follow through on what I set out to do.

This year is going to be different for me.

Don’t know why, but I am determined.

What are my goals for this year?

      1.  Being consistent
      2. Daily Devotion and Prayer
      3. Balancing work and fun
      4. Write at least two books
      5. Cooking more instead of eating out

These aren’t in any particular order. Notice how I don’t have any deadlines or requirements telling myself to meet this goal by this date. Sometimes adding a deadline adds more anxiety, especially if I am not used to maintaining realistic goals. I say this because I procrastinate and push things to the last minute. Depending on the goal, a deadline can be good when you want to keep yourself driven and motivated. You can make short-term and long-term goals for yourself as long as you make them manageable and reachable. 

For example, my goal is to include more healthy food in my diet.

Short-term goal: Prepare one to two budget-friendly meals for two weeks (meal planning).

After two weeks, I will reward myself with a treat (dessert).

Long-term goal: Cook five meals for the week.

This is manageable. Some of my goals I want to become a healthy habit for me. Like being consistent. Keeping myself accountable and motivated to know what to prioritize. I will talk habits more on Sunday.

Encouragement

When you make these goals, remind yourself to celebrate small victories and achievements. If you get off-track, that’s okay. Take a deep breath, pick yourself up, and continue on. Remember, you aren’t perfect. I have a hard remember that too.

Tweak your goals throughout the year, depending on how the year goes.

What new habits or goals do you have for this year?

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  • Teleaha Dozier-Grady
  • Lifestyle
  • Jan, 01, 2021

My 2020 Review

This year taught me a lot. This year had plenty of challenges, trials, and reflections. In some way, I am grateful for this year. For some things. This year, I needed to reflect on what I needed to do to take care of myself: spiritually, mentally, and physically.

Personal Takeaway

This year taught me how busy I was keeping myself. I lacked any care for myself, and I was only looking out for other people. I was people-pleasing. I was not listening to my body, responding to overworking. I burnt myself out. I learned to enjoy things like painting, writing, etc., regardless if other people liked it, joined me or not. I learned more about self-care, connecting with my inner child, and how to take care of my mental health. 


This year taught me to be grateful and to be present. There were a lot of people losing their jobs and their homes. Trying to find food for themself and provide food for their families. Some people are facing food insecurities. People are facing eviction today. I can only imagine what’s going through their mind. I am grateful that God provided a job for me and has given me a place to stay. Without God being my provider, who knows what situation I would have been in.


This year taught me I lacked closeness and a connection with God. This pullback season has helped me become closer to God, and I can hear his voice more clearly. I have been giving Him thanks every day I wake up. Giving Him thanks for putting breathe in my body and letting me know He still has a purpose for my life.

Hardships

This year has been challenging. I had at least six family members who passed away. I’m not the only person who had family members go to Heaven. There are over 300,000+ people who died from COVID. Black Americans being killed unintentionally by bad cops. And who knows how many people passed away from starvation, self-harm, lack of shelter, etc.

This year was intense. American democracy was on the line. Racial tension rising. A wave of hatred from people who aren’t accepting others who are different from them ( whether it was race, religion, sexuality, political party, etc.).

Reflection

I know this year has been a rollercoaster. Maybe even a trainwreck. There have been some good things sprinkle in this year as well. Whatever you have been through, I pray that you reflect. Let us take the lessons we were given this year and use them to become better people. I know how to create new habits that I want to continue in the new year, such as devotion & praying each day, and taking care of myself. 


I learned how we had taken some things for granted, such as going to the movies or seeing our friends at school without social distance. I will be honest; I liked being quarantined because I’m an introvert. I know extroverts probably don’t feel that way. I was reminded to be kind to others because we don’t know what they have been through.

And I want to know, what did you learn this Year?

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Why Do I Write? Poem

I write because I feel alone.

Sometimes it just be me and my thoughts.

I feel stuck.

And I feel there is no body here on Earth who understands my sorrow.

I write.

Gliding the pen across the paper…

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Different

A Short Poem

I am an African-American woman.

And I am different.

No, I am not a part of the LGBTQ+ community.

But I understand what it is like to be called out of my name.

Picked on.

Threatened.

Made people…

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  • Teleaha Dozier-Grady
  • Lifestyle
  • Jul, 09, 2020

Mental Disorders Confused as Schizophrenia

I will only mention a few that I knew that I was confused on while researching.

Schizotypal Personality Disorder

    Schizotypal personality disorder defined by DSM-5 as a pattern of acute discomfort in close relationships, cognitive or perceptual distortions, and peculiar behavior. Though schizotypal and schizophrenia have some symptoms like delusions of reference, odd thinking/speech, paranoid thoughts, and flat affect. There are fundamental differences that a person has schizotypal personality disorder is social isolation and not being able to primary interpersonal relationships due to social anxiety. People with schizotypal personality disorder are aware of their distorted ideas and reality (Kvarnstrom, 2018).

Schizoid Personality Disorder

    A schizoid personality disorder is a pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of emotional expression (American Psychiatric Association, 2017). It is similar to schizophrenia and schizotypal personality disorder by flattened affect and unable to connect socially. Unlike schizophrenia and schizotypal personality disorder, people with schizoid due not experience hallucinations or paranoia and do not have bizarre thoughts/speech. Symptoms display during early adulthood and differentiate from psychotic disorders by the detachment from social relationships and restricted range of emotional expressions in interpersonal settings (American Psychiatric Association, 2017). 

Schizoaffective and Schizophreniform Disorder

There are many similarities between schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder, such as having delusions, hallucinations, and disorganized thinking, behavior, and speech. Schizoaffective disorder is a combination of positive and negative symptoms and symptoms of schizophrenia. It has symptoms of mood disorder such as depression and mania (Preda, 2019). There are two types of schizoaffective disorder: bipolar and depressive. Schizophreniform disorder is identical to schizophrenia, but the length of the symptoms lasts between one to six months. If it goes longer than six months, then the diagnosis of schizophrenia can be made. Another essential symptom is the lack of impaired social and occupational functioning(American Psychiatric Association, 2017).

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2017). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders: Dsm-5. Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Association.

Kvarnstrom, E. (2019, January 08). Schizotypal personality disorder vs. schizophrenia: Understanding your adult child’s diagnosis. Retrieved November 03, 2019, from https://www.brightquest.com/blog/schizotypal-personality-disorder-vs-schizophrenia-understanding-your-adult-childs-diagnosis/

Preda, A., & Gans, S. (2019, September 07). The difference between schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder. Retrieved November 03, 2019, from https://www.verywellmind.com/schizophrenia-versus-schizoaffective-disorder-2953129

Feature image: iconscout

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The Mask

Do you see me?

Do you see the tears I cry?

Do you hear my silent scream for help?

No? Of course, you cannot.

You can only see the smile. My big, goofy grin.

You…

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  • Teleaha Dozier-Grady
  • Lifestyle
  • May, 20, 2020

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